So long 2011

So long 2011, glad to see you go.  Don't let the door hit you on the way out.  I don't mean to be so unkind toward you, but you really haven't been very friendly either.   I can't say that I will regret parting ways with you.  I will say that I have learned quite a lot in your span of time-some good things, others not so great.  All the same, it is time to say our goodbyes-and I can't say that I'm brokenhearted about that!

2011.  It was the best of times.  It was the worst of times.  Some things good, some bad, but when I look at the big picture- all things 2011 have been used to help me learn and grow. 

2011 has had me in the fire.  You know that fire that refines and tests your faith.

1 Peter 1:6-7
⁶ In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. ⁷ These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Yea, not really a fan of the fire.  I have to say.  Sometimes I've even heard myself say "But I don't want to grow and be more like Jesus if it hurts like this."  Not really one of my finer moments, but true nonetheless. 


This past summer, as many of you know, had my little family turned upside down.  My bonus son was involved in a terrible boating accident, which resulted in a summer full of surgeries and intense pain for him.  Watching him go through that was horrendous.  My heart broke a little more every day.  I felt so helpless.

But even in the middle of that, God showed His mercy and loving kindness to us all.    Hubby and I knew that the only reason our son was alive was because of God's own hand pulling him out of the water, and sustaining his life through the entire ordeal.  My bonus son is a walking, breathing miracle and testimony of God's faithfulness and power and mercy. 

My faith grew at least ten times its size this summer.  

I don't believe that God causes tragedies to happen, but I do believe that He uses every one to show us more about who He is.  And the great thing about God is that He promises to turn every situation into something good.  He gives us beauty for ashes (Isaiah 61:3), He works all things together for good for those who love Him and are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28). 

Life often times has a way of finding me hiding in the corner proclaiming my inability to walk out the path God has chosen for me.  Yup, I'm the one over there screaming saying "I can't do the things you are asking me to do" and "I'm not strong enough" and "I'm not wise enough" and "I'm just not enough."  This has been my mantra through all of 2011- and (if I'm completely honest) through all of my life.  
But the beauty of coming to the "end of my rope" so to speak  is that I can finally let go and allow God to be strong and wise and enough.  I have finally realized that God alone is able to be enough and I don't have to be anything on my own.  This (and more) I have learned in the fire of 2011. 

I have a friend who makes beautiful designs out of pieces of broken glass.  Whenever I see a mosaic, it reminds me that some of the most beautiful things are made from broken pieces.  And while she makes beautiful pieces of art, only God can pick up the broken pieces of our soul and piece them back together and make us into something beautiful.  I have realized, this year, that it's only when I am completely broken that He can transform who I thought I should be into who He created me to be.    He does make all things beautiful in His time.  He makes all things new.  But only when we come to the end of ourselves.  

All of my broken dreams, and hopes and plans I now surrender into the hands of the only One who can make something beautiful out of the broken pieces of my life.  

This summer another friend of mine shared a song with me that helped her when she was going through a difficult time with a family member who was ill.   It also ministered to me   I'm so thankful that she shared it with me, so I want to share it too.  It's called "Strong Enough" by Matthew West.

 So while I'm not sad to see 2011 go, I'm grateful for the lessons God has taught me this year.  I'm looking forward to 2012 with hope of seeing His plans fulfilled in my life. 

Happy 2012 friends, may God piece together your lives as well.  He is good.  All the time.

Thanks for reading.

Accessories

I'm like a deer in headlights at the accessory counter.  I just can't pick things out.  Thankfully I have friends whose motto must be "Friends don't let friends go around un-accessorized", because  much of the jewelry I have has come from my friends.  One friend, in particular, has taken pity on my inability to accessorize properly and given me several pieces of jewelry to wear.

While I was getting ready the other day, I noticed I wasn't wearing any accessories with my outfit.  I looked through my jewelry box to find a necklace to go with my outfit.  As I pulled out a necklace that my friend had given me and put it on, I felt like I was getting a hug from her.  I thought of all the things we have both been through together since we met.  I was overcome with thankfulness to the Lord for bringing her into my life.  I have walked with her through some pretty awful things, and she has done the same for me.  Always finding a reason to laugh together, even in the toughest times, has been good medicine for us.  I was having a particularly difficult time that morning, but when I put that necklace on, it made me smile.  I felt the gift of friendship all day as I wore the necklace she had given me and it got me thinking (insert shudder here).

Years ago, I was probably 8 years old or so, I received a gift from a lady I went to church with.  She was an elderly woman, a widow, who sat in the second row on the left every Sunday.  Her name was Mrs. Angel and she was one of the sweetest people I had known.  Every week I would wander over to the pew where she sat and chat with her (I was a chatter box kid-I know you are surprised right?).  She was always kind.  She always listened to me and talked to me in return.  She loved the Lord and she loved people.  Her sweet spirit made a lasting impression on my young heart.  Not long before she passed away, she gave me a few things.  One of those things was a necklace.

I thought it was the most beautiful thing in the whole world, not so much because of how it looked, but because it made me feel important.  She made me feel like I was worth something, and I still treasure her gift to this day.  When I put it on, I am reminded of how love can cross generations.  I am reminded of how a simple gift of listening, loving and giving of time can have a lasting impact on someone else.  I am reminded that God can use us throughout our entire lifetime to make a difference in the lives of others.  Mrs. Angel is a part of my heart, not because she gave me this tangible gift, but because this tangible gift reminds me of the intangible gifts of love and kindness she gave every week to a little girl at church.

Another friend of mine gave me a gift a couple of years ago.  She made this necklace for me.

I met this friend through homeschooling and our husbands were also on the fire department together.  She was a great source of  encouragement when schooling my children felt like an impossible task.   She also helped me organize.  She and another friend of ours came to my house and got me "into shape" helping me organize my materials and books and closets and and and..   She has a great sense of humor and has never failed to make me laugh.  When I look at all the teeny tiny beads on this necklace that she had to string, I am so grateful for her gift.  When I wear this heart, that sits close to my own, I'm reminded of friendship and laughter and how we need those things to walk through this life.  I'm reminded of her faith through the tough times she has went through.  Her love for the Lord and her faith in His plan have always been strong, even in the face of much adversity.   Hearing her testimony of God's faithfulness in her life has made my faith grow as well.  She has since moved away and I don't get to see her very often, but when I put on the necklace, I feel her friendship and I'm so grateful that the Lord has placed her in my life.

My sister bought me this bracelet.

It was made and sold as a fundraiser to fight teen depression.  It has one word on the ribbon- HOPE.  When I wear it I often put the ribbon between my thumb and finger and hold on to the word-HOPE.  My sister's gift is so special to me.  As I struggle with my own bouts of depression and anxiety, I put that bracelet on and am reminded that there is hope.  I am reminded of Jeremiah 29:11.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you plans to give you hope and a future.
As I twirl that word-HOPE- in my fingers I make a decision to trust in the plans the Lord has for my life-even though I don't understand them at times.  I put my hope in the Lord and rest in the promise that He has good things for me, and His plans are always good.


During an incredibly difficult time in my life, I received a gift for Christmas from a couple who had taken me into their family.  It was a necklace with this charm on it.

During this time in my life, I felt worthless and often called myself a "Loser".  So they bought this and said "L doesn't stand for loser anymore, it stands for "Loved".   During a time when I was unable to receive love from the Lord, he placed some people into my life to show His love to me.  This couple, which became parents to me, were two of those people.  When my daughter was a baby, she yanked on the chain and broke it, but thankfully I didn't lose the charm.  When I see it, I am reminded of the love the Lord has for His children.  I'm reminded of how much He loves us, and how He will stop at nothing to make sure we understand how much He loves us.  He will send us friends, family and friends who become family to be sure we know He loves us.  He is the giver of all good things and the source of love.

No matter how insignificant we feel we may be, God has a bigger plan and maybe, just maybe, that small gift you have to give-the smile, the kind word, the encouragement to a friend, the time spent talking with a child-maybe that will be the very thing He uses to pour life and hope and love into the life of someone else.  Never think what you have to give isn't good enough or big enough.  If God is in it, it is always bigger than we know.   God often uses the smallest things to make the biggest impacts (think of the little boy's lunch in Matthew 14).

I suppose if  burglars came into my home and searched through my jewelry box, they would walk away disappointed.  But to me, my jewelry box is full of treasures.  It is full of love, and friendship and family and hope.

And I am so thankful for every piece.


Thanks for reading.