Fall

Fall is my favorite time of year.   It's always been my favorite.  Even as a young child it surpassed summer in my heart.

Auntie V used to take her grandchildren and me to a fall festival every year to pick out a pumpkin and eat junk food and ride the very unsafe carnival rides they had set up at the festival.   It was something I looked forward to every year.  My 2nd cousins (her grandchildren-one girl close to my age and her brother a bit younger) were some of my favorite people to hang out with, and we always had a blast when we were together.   Life has a way of getting so busy that I don't keep in touch with my cousins often, but they still hold a very special place in my heart and memories.

Auntie V is a big part of why I love fall.  She loves fall too and decorated her house in "fallish" decorations to the max!  She shared her love for fall much like she shared the rest of her life.  She made it fun and warm and inviting by living in each moment and pointing out every good gift from our Creator.

I'm going to do the same.  I'm going to share some things I love about fall with my friends.

Fall is for school time


Fall is for beautiful colors

Fall is for the banded woolly bear caterpillar emerging from the egg and scooting along to find a home to wait out the winter months.

Fall is for pumpkin carving

And toasting pumpkin seeds

Fall is for picking apples

And making apple pie

Fall is for snuggling to stay warm while watching flag football on a Saturday morning

 Fall is for remembering that though  things must die, death is not the end of things-but instead a transformation. 
There are some things in my heart and life that need to die and blow away like the leaves on the trees.  I feel as though the Lord is stripping my heart  to expose those areas and prepare them for transformation.  I look prettier covered in leaves, for sure, but exposure is good and necessary. It  reminds me that I am in desperate need of  His love and His life.  He has to strip away my intense resistance to change, and as he prepares my heart for new things, I wait.

Much like my friend the banded woolly bear caterpillar who comes in the fall, eats and finds a place to wait out the winter, I too am "eating" and finding my place in Jesus to rest as I wait for transformation.   Because come spring, Woolly Bear will awake from his sleep, eat some more and spin his cocoon and in the Creator's timing, Woolly Bear will be transformed into the Isabella Tiger Moth.

A total transformation.

He makes all things new.

Happy Fall friends.

Dr.s and cds and skies...OH MY!

I sat down at the computer today and I thought my last post on here was only a week or so ago. 

I was wrong. 

How is October already?  I have lost track of time in a big way.  So I've decided I had better start making my "New Year's Resolutions" now. 

1.  Writing on this blog more often
2.  Think of some more resolutions...(Hey! It's only October.  I've got time) ;)

So October has us fully into our school year.   At the end of our day, you'll find our floors littered with books and papers.  We pick up as we rush to get ready for whatever activity will be filling our evening.  Our lives are busy and full, and although we like it that way I do tend to lose track of time in the whirl of activity. 

But here I am sitting down for a moment now trying to capture some of those crazy thoughts swirling about in my head to share with my friends.  You have missed my crazy thoughts haven't you???

I recently visited a new GI Doc.(gastroenterologist) to see if we could find a solution to this perpetual stomach pain I've been having.  My stomach and I have a long history of not getting along well together.  Lately it's been acting up in a big way and I thought a trip to the Dr. might get that tummy back in line.  He ordered some blood work,  gave me a couple new suggestions, and also a new medication to try.  All in all I liked him and I'm hoping my stomach will turn from its evil ways and behave better in the future. 

The thing about a new Dr. though, is that they ask you about your history, your hospitalizations, your past medications, and all kinds of other info.  In other words-they get all up in your business.  There are lots of things I don't love to talk about, and there are lots of places I've been that I don't enjoy re-visiting.  But because they are relevant to my health, there are things I have to say, places I have to re-visit, and stories I have to tell my new Dr.  So I did, and I left with an intense desire to run home and climb under my blankie and hide. 

A friend of mine sent me several CDs of teachings from her church and there was this one about keeping secrets vs. living a transparent life.  The speaker gave a testimony of some things she had been through.  She took things she had hidden from the world, things she pretended to be and not to be and she "hung them out on the line" for all to see.   She spoke about the freedom we have as we live in God's grace. 

 Interestingly enough, I had popped that  CD in my van and listened to it on the way to the Dr.  not realizing how much I would need to hear what she was sharing.  I would need to hear her testimony of how God brought her out of the shame of her past and into His glorious grace.

He makes all things new.  I love that. 

Thinking about what I had listened to on that CD, and the visit I had with my Dr. reminded me of a picture I had taken a week or so ago.  It had been rainy and dreary all day that day and the evening was more of the same.  The children and I had to run to the drug store and on our way home we pulled over to just take a minute to stare at the night sky.  It was dark on all sides, except this one area of the sky looked differently than the rest.  Just a sliver of light shining through the darkness on one side of my car window made me stop and take notice.   I snapped a photo with my cell phone. It's not a great photo, but you can see the sliver of light shining through an otherwise blackened sky.

I realized something as I remembered that picture and thought about my Dr. visit and the teaching on that CD.

Sometimes it is in our darkest places that His light is the most noticeable. 
When all other areas look hopeless, the light of His love shines through the darkness.  I will always see that, but only if I stop to look.

As I remember those dark skies of the past and as I live through some dark skies in the present, I must look and see the light of God's glory and grace in every situation.  That is what will carry me through.  As I put away the shame of past events and become more transparent, my prayer is that I can help others find the light in their own personal darkness.  As I admit my brokenness and His strength in my weakness, perhaps someone else will see His light shining through.

Because I have to believe that God will use every dark sky I have experienced for His glory.  I have to believe that not a single tear I have cried will be wasted.  I have to believe in a plan greater than I can see with my eyes.  I have to believe that by "hanging my things on the line", sharing my pain, and becoming more transparent, that the light of God's glorious grace and perfect love in my dark skies will be made visible to others.  And that those who see His light will run to Him-because He is our help in times of trouble.

And I can continue on regardless of the past and the effects that continue to invade my present, because I choose to believe He is making all things new.

Look for His light in your dark skies, friends.  It's there.  I promise.  He will never fail, though others may, He will never fail you. 

He makes all things new.

Thanks for reading.