Things I learned in Aruba

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Last week I left for a trip I never thought I would ever take.  Like never-ever.  If you know me, then you know I am NOT a traveler.  Like,  not even a little bit.  I was NOT born a ramblin' (wo)man.

In spite of my aversion to travel, I packed a suitcase, got on a plane (actually two) and flew to Aruba(thank you Xanax for all your help).  

See, Hubby had been working very hard to qualify for this incentive trip his employer gives to the top 40 service  reps.   He had been telling me for months how he and his coworker were working to earn it so we could all go together.  His hard work paid off and he(along with his coworker) was awarded an all expense paid trip for two to Aruba for 5 days.     So it was official.  We were going to Aruba.  I was excited to go (kind of), but my nerves were frayed to mere threads slightly agitated as I thought about all the things that needed to get done before I left.  AND I was extremely slightly nervous about the traveling part.   I hadn't been on a plane in over 20 years.  We had never been away from our kids.   We were able to get all the necessary arrangements made and the way it all worked out was such a blessing.  I am forever grateful to have gone on such a fantastic trip.

NOW, not being a world traveler-or any traveler for that matter- I learned a few things on this trip.   Here are some things I learned in Aruba.  

1.  If you get sick on the plane and need to use the barf bag, you can't put it back in the seat pocket.  REALLY?!!  What person made it necessary for the airline company to actually have to put that in writing.  Just WOW!  

2.  The bathroom in the airplane is perhaps the tiniest place to pee ever!  Mental note: limit fluid intake before flying.  AWKWARD!

3.  There is a Starbucks in Aruba!  Who knew?!  Hello beautiful.  HOORAY!!

4.  When choosing a sunscreen for use on a tropical island, it's probably best to stick with the lotion and NOT the spray.  OR, at least reapply spray inside.  See, when you spray yourself outside where there is constant breezy wind, the spray kind of misses spots.  You burn in splotches. So it hurts AND it looks weird.  OUCHIE!

5.  Do not, I repeat, do NOT forget to pack the Advil.  I packed every other pharmaceutical we had, but forgot the Advil.  After the plane ride I had a horrific headache.  We paid $8.50 for this bottle of 20 pills.  CHA-CHING!

6.  Sunset pics on the beach look neat.  BUT if you are wearing tennis shoes, you may want to ask the picture-taker to hurry along.  See those waves in the back there?  Well, they tend to wash up and soak your shoes.   SQUISHY!

7.  Nighttime beach walking is the best time to collect shells and coral. The waves bring all sorts of cool stuff onto the beach.  We even invited our friends to join us on our nightly beach walk so they too could experience the fun.  It's also the worst time.  In order to collect the stuff you have to endure the waves, with all the stuff in them, crashing in on your legs at varying heights.  But if you don't mind shards of broken shells and chunks of coral hitting your legs over and over then it's not so bad.  It's really fun to wait till the wave rolls out, run and grab handfuls of stuff, and run back before the wave hits you again.  Unless you're too slow.  Then your bootie gets wet.  RUN 

FOREST RUN. 

8.  You can't take it with you.  Having endured a night of painful seashell and coral collecting, you now have a neat little collection of sand and stuff to take home to your children.  Except then you find out it's illegal to take this "protected natural resource" out of Aruba.  Unless you want an astronomical fine, you must leave Aruba in Aruba.   So you just take a picture of it.  That's  almost as good as taking it home.  BUMMER!

9.  T.O.P does not spell HOT.  The resort has these neat little outside "shower the ocean and sand off of you" showers all around the place.  When your friend is rinsing his feet (after you've convinced him and his wife to join you on your nightly leg pelting seashell collecting walk on the beach, and he says "ooh that's cold" don't try and help.  See, the other push button thingy isn't for hot water, it's for the TOP shower(Hey, it was dark and I couldn't see well).  SO, when you try and help your friend get hot water for his feet, you actually spray him with cold water from the top shower.  OOPS!

10.  The banana boat ride is a little rough.  So Hubby and I went to scout out the banana boat ride we'd been hearing about.  We looked, and we saw this floating thing.  It looked sturdy, safe, fun even.  So we reported back to our friends and all climbed aboard this safe, sturdy vessel of fun.  Turns out you don't sit in the middle and hold on to the sides.  No.  You straddle the tubes on one side with your feet behind you.  You hope the weight distribution on each side is somewhat even so you don't immediately topple over.  You hold on for dear life while the driver is pulling you behind the boat,  laughing at your misfortune.  See, it's a very windy place, and as you ride over those white caps, the wind blows fiercely  and the salt water pelts you in the face.  It hurts.  Like a lot.  And you can't open your eyes or you get pelted in the eyes with windy, salty sea water-at least if you're in the front, which I was.  Also, it's very hard to climb back onto the floating boat of death when the driver decides to dump you all off into the middle of the sea.  While you're floating there like shark bait as the boat comes back around, you wonder if you have the upper body strength to pull yourself out of the water back onto the float.  It's more difficult than it looks.  It was fun.  Kind of.  Not really.  SCARY!

11.  Remember where you are sitting when you go up to the buffet.  SO, the resort had this cool buffet dinner and carnival show one evening.  We were one of the first groups to arrive.  The host gave us a great table close to where the show would be happening.   I went up to get a plate of food.  I went to the salad bar first and decided to put that plate on the table and go back for the main dish.  No one was back yet, so I just left my plate on the table.   When I came back with my second plate, my first plate was gone.  "HUH!  someone took my plate" I said.  So, I went back up and got another salad bar plate.  When I came back the second time, hubby looked at my plate, looked at me, pointed to the table behind us, and said,"Does that plate look like yours?"  There was one plate on an otherwise empty table behind us, and it had the same food on it as the one I had in my hand.   Turns out it was my first plate.  I just put it on the wrong table.  I know I have issues with directions and I get lost a LOT, but this was an all new level of being misplaced.  DUH!

12.  According to hubby and his friend, There is a difference between male and female palm trees.  I'm not even going to explain.  I like my blog to be somewhat "family friendly"   Not going there.  I'm sure you can figure it out.  However, I'm not so sure they really know what they're talking about.  KEEP IT CLASSY!

13.  You need to be fast when writing in the sand.  I was the designated "name in the sand" writer.  Why our friends trusted me to do this task after my previous blunders was beyond me.  Maybe they figured it would be fun to watch me scramble.  I did my best, but the results were less than ideal.  Oh well, we snapped a picture.  You can sorta kinda tell what it says.   HURRY HURRY!

14.  Beautiful places are more fun with friends.  It was such an unexpected blessing to be able to go on this trip.  To have friends experience this beautiful place with us was an added blessing.  I am so thankful these two hung out with us, even after my not-so-great ideas.  FRIENDS ARE BLESSINGS 

15.  Hubby and I still like each other, even after 20 years together.   Hubby and I began dating 20 years ago this past February and our 20 year wedding anniversary is in September.   Our lives are busy with work, homeschooling our kids, running our kids to gymnastics, and just. life.  Life is busy.  We just don't get a chance to spend much time together.  It was such an incredible blessing to have some time together to just be together.  No pressure, no money stress, no running here and there, just enjoying time together exploring a beautiful island.  We made a commitment to love one another always when we were married. And we've honored that commitment through some pretty trying times.   But come to find out, we still LIKE  hanging out together too.  What a blessing to still enjoy each other's company without life's distractions.  FRIENDS FOREVER

So I learned some things on this unexpected trip.  I also thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the island, the sound and feel of the sea, the breeze, the sun, and the sand between my toes.  I enjoyed meeting new friends and spending time with friends we knew already.  It was a wonderful experience.

I am so incredibly grateful to my hubby for working so hard to earn this trip.  I'm so incredibly grateful to God for giving Hubby the strength and energy to do the job he does every day.  I'm grateful to God for creating such beauty in nature.   I'm so incredibly grateful to my friends who prayed for a safe, happy trip for us.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

And I am just.simply.grateful.  so. SO. grateful.

Thanks for reading.

I get by with a little help from my friends.

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me.
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
I get by with a little help from my friends,
I get high with a little help from my friends,
Going to try with a little help from my friends.-Billy Shears

Tonight I shared a cup of coffee with this girl who grew right into my heart.  We first met years ago when she was a young girl and I was just 20 years old.  Our lives intersected through her grandparents.   Somewhere along the way God placed her right into my heart where she grew to be my heart-daughter.  We share memories that bring both tears and laughter.   It had been 3/4 of a year since our last visit.  Far too long.  

I had dinner with some of my friends from high school a couple of weeks ago.  These girls-along with one who couldn't make it-were my sanity during my high school years.   We studied together, laughed together, ate junk food together, and watched lots of Saturday Night Live together (Party on, Wayne).  We all agree that we need to get together more often.  So much time passes all too quickly, and before we know it years stretch out between our visits.  

When I was very young, someone once told me "if you want to have friends, you have to show yourself to be friendly."  I wanted friends.  I really really wanted friends, so I prayed and did my very best to be a friend to anyone who'd have me as their friend.  God heard that small child's prayer, and I have been blessed throughout my lifetime with some great friends (I also include many family members who are also friends)

Some friends have come and gone.  I have learned from them and hope they have learned something from me.  It was a really hard thing for me to realize that not everyone comes in your life to stay.  I would love it if that were true, but it's not realistic.  This I have learned and have made peace with.  

Some friends have been around for a really long time.   These friends have seen the best of times and worst of times with me.  These are the friends that drove my car home for me when I was admitted to the psychiatric hospital, came to visit me there, and most importantly didn't treat me any differently when I was released.  I felt like the whole world thought I was crazy, and wouldn't want anything to do with me anymore.   There were some friends that avoided me after my stays in the psych.  hospital.  But these girls, my friends,  they treated me the same as always.   We've been together through school and learning to drive a car and boyfriends and marriages and babies and heartache and hard times and good times and are still able to laugh and enjoy one another.   It is a rare blessing for us all to stay in touch  for so many years.  For these friends, I am grateful 

Some friends are more recent.  We've shared child rearing advice and play dates and Bible studies and prayer groups and homeschooling ideas and Sunday afternoon gatherings and lots of tears and lots of laughter.  It is a blessing to have made so many friends who want to walk out this life with me.  For these friends, I am grateful.  

There are friends we pour our heart and soul out to and they gather us up,  hold us close and pour right back into us so we don't run dry.  There are friends who trust us enough to share the broken pieces of their life with us and we scoop them up and march them straight to the throne of grace.  We place them at the feet of Jesus, who is the only one who can piece them together, and we pick up each piece and hand it to Jesus until the work is finished.  There are friends who listen tirelessly as we cry and yell and scream and they look us right in the face and speak truth and grace and love to us.   They hold us up when we can not stand for one more minute.  They make us laugh when we only want to cry.  They forgive us when we have PMS and are beyond crabby.   They support us even when we head off in a different direction than they are walking.  They love us.   We love them.  What a blessing it is to have and be a friend.  For these friends, I am so grateful.

So many days seem to be passing so quickly and I find myself with less time than I have things I need to do.  I don't have the time to spend with my friends  the way I'd like to.  There are precious friends of mine that I haven't seen in so long.  There never seems to be enough time during this season of my life.  There is always so many things to do, children's sports and work and schooling and and and...  Somehow I'd like to stop it all, just for a little while and catch up with those friends I haven't seen in a while.  We always part with the promise to not wait so long to meet up again, but the years seem to pass us all right on by.  

 I'm grateful for facebook and email which have shortened miles and helped keep the connection I have with many friends.  I'm grateful for each friend I've had in my life-whether you've come and gone, or come and stayed.  I'm grateful for those friends who have seen the deepest parts of my heart and held me and prayed with me.  I'm grateful for those friends who trust me enough to share their hearts with me.   God has sprinkled my path of life with just the right people at just the right time, so I could love and be loved, so I could have friends and be a friend to others.  For this, I am so very grateful.

Thanks for reading.

In that moment

Forever is composed of nows.-Emily Dickinson

Hello there.

I realize that it has been a looooong time since my last blog post.  I apologize to  my faithful followers (all 13 of you).  I'm sure you have been thankful missing these brilliant posts of mine ;)   I'd like to say that I was much too busy climbing mountains, sailing the high seas, or finding a cure for cancer to blog, but truthfully I have been busy adjusting.  Adjusting.  yep.  That's it.  Unimpressed? Yea, me too, but that's the truth.   I won't bore you with the details of how my life has changed this last year.  I will, however, share with you something I've learned.

I work, part time,  as a nurse's aid in a nursing home.  The people I care for are in advanced stage dementia.  Dementia includes Alzheimers as well as several other diseases that cause the brain to  literally stop functioning.  It is a terrible thing to watch a person slowly lose their ability to do a simple task such as washing their face.    You watch and care for them as they go from semi-independent to completely dependent and then you watch and care for them as they die.    I've worked at this place for a little less than a year, and we've had 13 deaths.  It's heartbreaking.

These are men and women you don't see out in society.  These are men and women who in a values clarification class would be thrown off the lifeboat.    These are men and women spending their last days here on earth forgetting all they have ever known.   And yet, these are men and women of great value.  They have purpose.  They are great teachers.    If you look beyond the surface of their weaknesses,  you can see that in them lies a treasure.

When I first began working with this people group, I was very discouraged.  I was wondering how I could possibly make any lasting difference in their lives when I knew that they would probably not even remember my name the next time I came into work.  I thought what a defeating job this is.  What does anything I do with them even matter if they will never remember anything.    I remember praying and asking what the purpose of this could possibly be.  When everything you build with these people is torn down within minutes, what good could I ever be to this people group?

That day, the day I asked that question, I received an answer.  For that moment.  That was the answer.  For that moment.  And what I had to do was change the way I viewed the work I was doing-and life I was living.   Maybe I wasn't building relationships that would be remembered for days or even hours, but I was giving love and care for that moment.   And for those who suffer with dementia, that moment is all they have.    And so when I grab the hand of a sweet elder and look into their eyes as they are  babbling nonsensically and I nod my head and say "Ok, that sounds good" or some other various form of a response,  in that moment that elder knows that they are important enough to be heard, they are seen and worth paying attention to, and they are valuable enough to be loved.  Maybe in 10 minutes they will not remember what happened, but in each moment spent listening, caring, loving I can share the love of Christ.  

Some remember me.  Some remember my face, but not my name.   Some think I'm somebody else and they are so glad to see me when I come, because they've been waiting for me for a long time.   It doesn't matter to me anymore what they remember, or who they think I am,  because when I'm with them we live together only in that moment.  And if in that moment I can help them feel important, valued and loved just for who they are in that moment,  then that counts.

I have been learning, as I continue to work with these sweet elders, that sometimes, well LOTS of times, I try look too far ahead.  I wonder what the lasting impact of each day will be.  I attempt to live for the future.  In that, lots of times I miss what's happening in that moment.  I can't hear the laughter of my children, because I'm too busy worrying about preparing them for their future.  I can't  smell the spring blossoms in the air because I'm too busy thinking about work I need to get to.  I miss opportunities to show my children that I love and value them for who they are right now in this moment, when I'm too focused on preparing them for the future.  I miss the blessing of God's gift of spring smells and songs from the birds when I'm focused on getting on with my day.

I have learned that love given and love received counts, even if it is only remembered in that moment.   I have learned that laughter is indeed good medicine and a good sense of humor is essential when working with this group of people.  I have learned that gifts from God come in the strangest of packages.  The gift of learning to stop and live in this moment has come to me in a package of worn out bodies and wrinkled faces.  It has come to me in laughter and singing from a woman who, while she can't feed herself, she can still teach me that love happens in that moment that I stop to receive it.   When a hand worn by time reaches out to grab mine, I receive that gift.  When the arms of one who has carried nine babies and lived a full life reach out to hug me, I receive that gift.   The gift of the now is continually presented to me every time I walk through those doors.  Now is all they have, and really isn't it also all we have?   All this I have learned from these elders.

AT work this afternoon we had a Mother's Day Tea Party.  Some family members of the elders joined us as we celebrated life with tea and sweets.   Some family members brought pictures of their mothers that were taken years ago, in a different time.  Before time had worn out their bodies and this wretched disease had stolen their minds.  These people I care for were once young and strong. Some were lawyers, judges, nurses, teachers, mothers, fathers.  They were all people of purpose.  While they are no longer young and their bodies no longer strong,  they are still people of purpose.  Because until we take our last breath here on this earth, we all still have purpose.  And our purpose is fulfilled one moment at a time.  

Yes, Emily, forever is composed of nows.  I am thankful that these elders are teaching me just how to live in that moment.

Thanks for reading.

Mother's Day

The process of shaping the child...shapes also the mother herself.  Reverence for her sacred burden calls her to all that is pure and good, that she may teach primarily by her own humble, daily example.
-Elisabeth Elliot

Today was Mother's Day.

My children greeted me this morning with kisses, words that said "Happy Mother's Day", cards, gifts and their sweet smiles.  But no card or gift could ever be worth more to me than the gift of being their mother.   It is their voices I hear, giggling and chatting with one another, that get me out of bed in the morning on those days when I'd rather hide from the world.  It is for them that I  push myself to seek the Lord on how to be a good example of a godly woman for my girls to follow, and how to raise my son to be a man of God.  Being a mother has been the most frustrating, difficult, wonderful, joyous experience of my life.

Motherhood is a place where you can experience extreme joy, laughter, incredible frustration, tears, an iron will and complete defeat all in one hour spent with a toddler.  It is a place where you discover you biggest vulnerability, your deepest fears, your greatest hope and your biggest dreams.  Somehow, they all tend to be wrapped up in  the little people that God has entrusted to you to raise.  You open yourself up for hurt as you love, without conditions, this small, totally dependent infant who can give you nothing in return.  You fear you will somehow not be the patient mom you so desire to be, while you slip in a puddle of pudding your toddler threw on the floor.  You hope and dream along with your children those big dreams they have.  And above all, you PRAY.

In all the ways I teach my children, I feel as though I am the one learning the most.  I've learned more about myself(good and awful bad), more about giving, and more about the unconditional love and acceptance of God, by parenting these little people He has entrusted to me.  In all the ways I give to my children, I feel as though I receive the most.  I came home from class one night to see this precious gift on my counter from my little guy.

I used to think I wanted to have so much more in my life.  But as I watch how quickly the years are flying by, I am so grateful to have the privilege to devote this time in my life to spend with my children.   Soon enough they will be grown and will not take photos like these...

Being a mother sure isn't what I thought it would be.  But it is the best gift I've ever been given.  I am grateful everyday for my children and also for my wonderful hubby to walk this journey of parenting with me.

 Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.-Elizabeth Stone

If you've never seen this video by Anita Renfroe about motherhood, check this out.  It is hilarious.

Happy Mother's Day to all you mommies out there

Thanks for reading.