Stuck in Gooey Gumdrops and Lost in the Lollipop Woods

     The other day my sister and I were talking about the game Candy Land. On the game board that I had, there were two spaces where a player can get stuck (there are several versions of the game). If you should land on the gooey gumdrops space, you’re stuck there. If you land on the lollipop woods space, you get lost. When you land on either space you can’t move forward in the game until you draw a card with the designated color on it. Sometimes you get lucky and only miss a turn or two. Other times, you may be stuck there for quite a few turns. While you stay on the space, you watch your friends pass you by as they move toward the finish line. You may begin to feel disappointed, discouraged, and maybe even defeated as every card you choose and think will be the one to set you free ends up being the wrong color. You're stuck, and you're lost.

      My sister and I also talked about how life can be like that too. There are times when we get stuck in a spot and watch others move forward while we are left behind. During those times, it’s difficult to move forward at all. Though you want to move, you can’t. You’re stuck. Though you search for a way out, you can't find one. You’re lost. And the more you scramble to find freedom and direction, the more disappointed in yourself you become. It’s a frustrating place to be. This reminded me of a story about a prophet in the Bible named Elijah.

      In I Kings 19, we find the prophet Elijah running for his life. Queen Jezebel had vowed to kill him, so he took off and hid in the wilderness. He prayed for God to take his life, as he plopped himself down under a bush and fell asleep. He was disappointed and defeated. He was lost, and he was stuck. But God didn’t tell Elijah to pull himself together. Instead, God cared for him.

      An angel was sent to Elijah. The angel told Elijah to wake up and eat. When Elijah woke up, he found that food and drink had been provided for him. He ate, drank, and went back to sleep. The angel came a second time. Elijah woke up again and ate and drank, but this time he became strengthened for a journey.  Elijah traveled to Horeb, which is the mountain of God, and found a cave to sleep in for the night. God said to Elijah, “What are doing here?” Elijah told God that he was discouraged, defeated, afraid, and alone. God told Elijah to go and stand on the mountain, because the Lord would be passing by.

      Here comes the part I love the most (vs 11-13). Elijah goes up and stands on the mountain. There’s this powerful wind that comes, but God wasn’t in the wind. Then there was an earthquake, but God wasn’t there either. Then there was fire, but God was not found in the fire. Do you know where God was? God was in a gentle whisper. God asked Elijah the same question again, “What are you doing here?” Elijah once again told God that he was discouraged, defeated, afraid, and alone. Then in that gentle whisper, God gave Elijah the directions he needed to move forward, which included finding a man, who would become his friend (and successor) and would stick by him no matter what would come their way, named Elisha. Elijah finally got the card he needed to move forward.

      When I’m suck in the gooey gumdrops of hopelessness or lost in the lollipop forest of failure, I fully expect to draw cards of God’s anger toward me for being discouraged and defeated, for hiding instead of trusting, for isolating myself instead of choosing relationships. I expect the wind to blow me over, an earthquake to shake me, and fire to burn me as punishment for my faithlessness. 

      But one thing I learned from this story is that God isn’t angry that I’m stuck or lost, just as He wasn’t angry at Elijah. He sends nourishment to my soul, so I can be strong enough to make the journey. He doesn’t whack me over with the wind of discipline, shake me up with an earthquake of emendation, or punish me with the flames of fire. Instead, He speaks to me in a gentle whisper. He asks me, “Hey Kim, what are you doing here?” Then He gives me directions and sends me to a friend that will help me find my way through those lollipop woods and help pull me out of the gooey gumdrops. He gives me the card I need to move forward.

      If you're lost, if you're stuck, don’t look to the wind, earthquakes, and fires that life brings for direction. His voice is in the gentle whisper. His will for you is good. You’re not alone. He will give you exactly what you need to find your way when you’re lost and to break free when you’re stuck. He’s not even mad at you. I promise. He understands our discouragement, our disappointment, and our struggles. Psalm 103 tells us that God is compassionate, full of love for us, and slow to anger. It says He knows how we are made. He understands.

      If you’re lost, if you’re stuck, take care of yourself. Eat, drink some water, take a nap, then get up and take that journey to the mountain. Listen for that gentle voice and don't be afraid. It’s the voice of the One who is full of compassion, not condemnation. It’s the voice that gives direction instead of harsh discipline. It’s the voice that leads you to a friend who will stick with you. It’s the voice of the One who loves you. He will give you the card you need to move forward. 

           

New Journey

I see my path that lies ahead,

But only see a bit of the way.

Fear would have me turn back instead 

To the road I traveled yesterday.

That road I know is tried true.

It’s twists and turns I do know quite well.

The tough terrain, I’ve made it through. 

Learned how to rise when I tripped and fell. 

This path unpaved is fresh and new,

And where it may lead, I do not know. 

Unsure if I can make it through,

I stand wondering if I should go.

Knowing progress is never won

Choosing the path I have walked before.

I breathe and pray God’s will be done.

Take one step, then two, then several more.  

Take courage, friend if you should find 

Yourself staring down an unknown way.

Don’t heed the fears that flood your mind. 

Just move with hope-new steps, new day. 
-KJ 10-30-2017

Picture Stories

The Story in a Picture

"A picture is worth a thousand words."

I've always loved pictures.  I remember my Mamaw had a large tin full of pictures. When I was a kid and  would go to visit, I would pull that big tin out and rifle through pictures asking her "Who is this?" "When was that taken?"  "Tell me the story about this one."   It was one of my favorite things to do during my visits.  Pictures are attached to stories, stories are attached to people, and pictures have always been a way for me to connect with the people in those stories.

But pictures are funny things.  Without a teller, a picture doesn't share all of the story.  It shows only a glimpse of reality-only one moment in time.  Connecting only a few of the dots of the story, one may see a different reality than another while looking at the same picture.  One thing is for sure, pictures alone don't tell the whole story.  A picture of a person who is living with Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia leaves out a whole piece of reality.

Here is what you see and the story behind it.  This is a picture of my dad getting ready to eat his apple pie and ice cream.  He is dressed in one of his favorite shirts with a cap on his head. He is neat and clean and looking great.  My family and I were visiting to celebrate his 87th birthday.  I had made him a happy birthday apple pie (as per tradition).   He had just eaten a big dinner and was ready to enjoy his pie.  He loved dessert!   He was smiling as we sang the Happy Birthday song.  He was pleased to have us visit and enjoyed telling us his stories.  This picture brings back a good memory of a fun moment in time.  What you see is reality.

Here is what you don't see.  You don't see the struggle he had earlier in the day to get dressed for our visit.  You don't see the confusion on his face as he couldn't quite remember how this favorite shirt goes on over his arms.  You don't see the frustration on his brow as he does his best to follow mom's cues as she helps him put on his socks and shoes, because he doesn't remember quite how to put them on himself.  You don't see him trying to understand mom saying,  "Foot up.  It's ok; try again.  Foot up.. not down...up.", and you don't see the smile on his face when she cheers,  "Yay! now you've got it."
 You don't see him wandering around, not remembering how to get to his bedroom to take a nap before our visit.

You don't see my dad, once a master storyteller, trailing off in the middle of a story he's told me a thousand times, because he can't remember the rest of it.  You don't see my dad, who was once a master of words, forgetting the words he was trying to say in a conversation. You don't see my reaction when he has forgotten who I am, and is talking to me as though I am my niece, then one of my other sisters, and then me again.  You don't see what Alzheimer's and Lewy body dementia have stolen from him, but what you don't see is also reality.

If we refuse to see the challenges these diseases cause, we miss the whole picture.  The person living with these diseases can't share a whole part of their reality, which leads to a lonely life.  We tend to shy away from conversation, because we don't want to believe that this person we know is living with a disease that is slowly causing their brain to die.  And perhaps sometimes when we avoid it or fluff it off as "well, they are getting older" or "they just can't hear me", we can almost convince ourselves that there is no disease, that what we see is just what happens when you get old.  But it isn't.  It is a disease.  And when we ignore the disease, we miss out on a chance to embrace the whole person.

Both what we see and what we don't see in the picture are reality.  If we miss one, we miss the story, and while the story has tragic moments, it can also have moments of beauty.  Those who are living with dementia face confusion and frustration and loss everyday.  But one of the most difficult things they face is loneliness.  If we can understand more about the disease, we can ease frustration and loneliness.  If we see both the difficulties and moments of joy, we can live a fuller life with those who are living with these diseases.

Alzheimer's and other forms of dementia make life challenging.  They are heartbreaking diseases, but they can still include moments of clarity and joy.  There are opportunities to grow as we learn how to best relate to a person who is experiencing brain failure. There are ways we can ease the confusion and experience moments of laughter together.  And while we won't change the outcome of these terminal diseases, every moment counts.  Every moment spent in laughter, is one less spent in fear and confusion.  Every moment spent connecting, is one less spent in loneliness.

Pictures are indeed worth a thousand words.  A teller will share the whole story.  I want to be a teller of the whole story, just as my Mamaw was for me when I would ask about her pictures.   I pray I will see the whole story of those I meet who are living with any form of dementia.  I pray we all will.  May we look not only at the smiles, but also at the frustration, so we can say, "It's ok.  We will do this together."   May we enter into their reality and ease their loneliness.  May we look not only at the devastation these diseases cause, but also at the moments of joy.  May we embrace those moments of laughter right in the middle of those difficult days.  And of course, may we always have pie to share.

Things I learned in Aruba

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

Last week I left for a trip I never thought I would ever take.  Like never-ever.  If you know me, then you know I am NOT a traveler.  Like,  not even a little bit.  I was NOT born a ramblin' (wo)man.

In spite of my aversion to travel, I packed a suitcase, got on a plane (actually two) and flew to Aruba(thank you Xanax for all your help).  

See, Hubby had been working very hard to qualify for this incentive trip his employer gives to the top 40 service  reps.   He had been telling me for months how he and his coworker were working to earn it so we could all go together.  His hard work paid off and he(along with his coworker) was awarded an all expense paid trip for two to Aruba for 5 days.     So it was official.  We were going to Aruba.  I was excited to go (kind of), but my nerves were frayed to mere threads slightly agitated as I thought about all the things that needed to get done before I left.  AND I was extremely slightly nervous about the traveling part.   I hadn't been on a plane in over 20 years.  We had never been away from our kids.   We were able to get all the necessary arrangements made and the way it all worked out was such a blessing.  I am forever grateful to have gone on such a fantastic trip.

NOW, not being a world traveler-or any traveler for that matter- I learned a few things on this trip.   Here are some things I learned in Aruba.  

1.  If you get sick on the plane and need to use the barf bag, you can't put it back in the seat pocket.  REALLY?!!  What person made it necessary for the airline company to actually have to put that in writing.  Just WOW!  

2.  The bathroom in the airplane is perhaps the tiniest place to pee ever!  Mental note: limit fluid intake before flying.  AWKWARD!

3.  There is a Starbucks in Aruba!  Who knew?!  Hello beautiful.  HOORAY!!

4.  When choosing a sunscreen for use on a tropical island, it's probably best to stick with the lotion and NOT the spray.  OR, at least reapply spray inside.  See, when you spray yourself outside where there is constant breezy wind, the spray kind of misses spots.  You burn in splotches. So it hurts AND it looks weird.  OUCHIE!

5.  Do not, I repeat, do NOT forget to pack the Advil.  I packed every other pharmaceutical we had, but forgot the Advil.  After the plane ride I had a horrific headache.  We paid $8.50 for this bottle of 20 pills.  CHA-CHING!

6.  Sunset pics on the beach look neat.  BUT if you are wearing tennis shoes, you may want to ask the picture-taker to hurry along.  See those waves in the back there?  Well, they tend to wash up and soak your shoes.   SQUISHY!

7.  Nighttime beach walking is the best time to collect shells and coral. The waves bring all sorts of cool stuff onto the beach.  We even invited our friends to join us on our nightly beach walk so they too could experience the fun.  It's also the worst time.  In order to collect the stuff you have to endure the waves, with all the stuff in them, crashing in on your legs at varying heights.  But if you don't mind shards of broken shells and chunks of coral hitting your legs over and over then it's not so bad.  It's really fun to wait till the wave rolls out, run and grab handfuls of stuff, and run back before the wave hits you again.  Unless you're too slow.  Then your bootie gets wet.  RUN 

FOREST RUN. 

8.  You can't take it with you.  Having endured a night of painful seashell and coral collecting, you now have a neat little collection of sand and stuff to take home to your children.  Except then you find out it's illegal to take this "protected natural resource" out of Aruba.  Unless you want an astronomical fine, you must leave Aruba in Aruba.   So you just take a picture of it.  That's  almost as good as taking it home.  BUMMER!

9.  T.O.P does not spell HOT.  The resort has these neat little outside "shower the ocean and sand off of you" showers all around the place.  When your friend is rinsing his feet (after you've convinced him and his wife to join you on your nightly leg pelting seashell collecting walk on the beach, and he says "ooh that's cold" don't try and help.  See, the other push button thingy isn't for hot water, it's for the TOP shower(Hey, it was dark and I couldn't see well).  SO, when you try and help your friend get hot water for his feet, you actually spray him with cold water from the top shower.  OOPS!

10.  The banana boat ride is a little rough.  So Hubby and I went to scout out the banana boat ride we'd been hearing about.  We looked, and we saw this floating thing.  It looked sturdy, safe, fun even.  So we reported back to our friends and all climbed aboard this safe, sturdy vessel of fun.  Turns out you don't sit in the middle and hold on to the sides.  No.  You straddle the tubes on one side with your feet behind you.  You hope the weight distribution on each side is somewhat even so you don't immediately topple over.  You hold on for dear life while the driver is pulling you behind the boat,  laughing at your misfortune.  See, it's a very windy place, and as you ride over those white caps, the wind blows fiercely  and the salt water pelts you in the face.  It hurts.  Like a lot.  And you can't open your eyes or you get pelted in the eyes with windy, salty sea water-at least if you're in the front, which I was.  Also, it's very hard to climb back onto the floating boat of death when the driver decides to dump you all off into the middle of the sea.  While you're floating there like shark bait as the boat comes back around, you wonder if you have the upper body strength to pull yourself out of the water back onto the float.  It's more difficult than it looks.  It was fun.  Kind of.  Not really.  SCARY!

11.  Remember where you are sitting when you go up to the buffet.  SO, the resort had this cool buffet dinner and carnival show one evening.  We were one of the first groups to arrive.  The host gave us a great table close to where the show would be happening.   I went up to get a plate of food.  I went to the salad bar first and decided to put that plate on the table and go back for the main dish.  No one was back yet, so I just left my plate on the table.   When I came back with my second plate, my first plate was gone.  "HUH!  someone took my plate" I said.  So, I went back up and got another salad bar plate.  When I came back the second time, hubby looked at my plate, looked at me, pointed to the table behind us, and said,"Does that plate look like yours?"  There was one plate on an otherwise empty table behind us, and it had the same food on it as the one I had in my hand.   Turns out it was my first plate.  I just put it on the wrong table.  I know I have issues with directions and I get lost a LOT, but this was an all new level of being misplaced.  DUH!

12.  According to hubby and his friend, There is a difference between male and female palm trees.  I'm not even going to explain.  I like my blog to be somewhat "family friendly"   Not going there.  I'm sure you can figure it out.  However, I'm not so sure they really know what they're talking about.  KEEP IT CLASSY!

13.  You need to be fast when writing in the sand.  I was the designated "name in the sand" writer.  Why our friends trusted me to do this task after my previous blunders was beyond me.  Maybe they figured it would be fun to watch me scramble.  I did my best, but the results were less than ideal.  Oh well, we snapped a picture.  You can sorta kinda tell what it says.   HURRY HURRY!

14.  Beautiful places are more fun with friends.  It was such an unexpected blessing to be able to go on this trip.  To have friends experience this beautiful place with us was an added blessing.  I am so thankful these two hung out with us, even after my not-so-great ideas.  FRIENDS ARE BLESSINGS 

15.  Hubby and I still like each other, even after 20 years together.   Hubby and I began dating 20 years ago this past February and our 20 year wedding anniversary is in September.   Our lives are busy with work, homeschooling our kids, running our kids to gymnastics, and just. life.  Life is busy.  We just don't get a chance to spend much time together.  It was such an incredible blessing to have some time together to just be together.  No pressure, no money stress, no running here and there, just enjoying time together exploring a beautiful island.  We made a commitment to love one another always when we were married. And we've honored that commitment through some pretty trying times.   But come to find out, we still LIKE  hanging out together too.  What a blessing to still enjoy each other's company without life's distractions.  FRIENDS FOREVER

So I learned some things on this unexpected trip.  I also thoroughly enjoyed the beauty of the island, the sound and feel of the sea, the breeze, the sun, and the sand between my toes.  I enjoyed meeting new friends and spending time with friends we knew already.  It was a wonderful experience.

I am so incredibly grateful to my hubby for working so hard to earn this trip.  I'm so incredibly grateful to God for giving Hubby the strength and energy to do the job he does every day.  I'm grateful to God for creating such beauty in nature.   I'm so incredibly grateful to my friends who prayed for a safe, happy trip for us.

"Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows." James 1:17

And I am just.simply.grateful.  so. SO. grateful.

Thanks for reading.

Christmas Cookies

So, it's now officially the day after Christmas and I must admit I'm a bit relieved.  I managed to get behind this year with many things, including my Christmas cookie baking.   I recently showed up at a family Christmas gathering sans Christmas cookies.  My brother threatened to disown me.  Ok, perhaps I'm exaggerating a bit, but he was extremely disappointed that I had no cookies to share.  I knew I couldn't show up to the next Christmas gathering with no cookies.  So, two days before I needed them (I tend to procrastinate) I decided to begin my baking blitz.   I thought I'd bought everything I needed for the cookie baking blitz the week before, but I discovered that I was out of brown sugar.  I realized I would have to go to the store.  My trip to the store inspired this parody of sorts.  It was a disaster of a trip and I finally made it home exhausted.  I didn't bake a single cookie that night.  

I laughed that night at the ridiculousness of rushing around to get these cookies made. I was feeling stressed and, if I'm honest, a little bit crabby about not having these cookies made. I realized that all the rushing and stress was taking the joy out of something I look forward to every year.  I enjoy sharing cookies with family and friends at Christmastime, but the rush of it all (due to my procrastination) was getting to me.  I decided that I would relax a bit and start baking the next day.  Whatever I was able to get done would have to be enough.  At the end of it all, I managed to bake several batches and was able to share them with family and friends. And I was able to do so with a smile on my face and joy in my heart.   

There is a series of children's books by Laura Numeroff.  My favorite one is If You Give A Moose a Muffin.  If you have a preschooler in your life, you may be familiar with these books.  If you have a preschooler in your life and are not familiar with these books, you should be.  They will love them.  If you  do not have a preschooler in your life,  you should check them out anyway.  They are adorable.  I still love to read all the books in the series (don't judge me).  

This "parody story" is a series of actual events that took place on my trip to the store for brown sugar on Monday evening-for serious and for real!    My prayer for you all is that you will be able to look back at whatever crazy, stress-inducing, time crunch Christmas situation  you may have found yourself in this season and find a reason to smile or even laugh.  The making of sweet memories often involves a pinch of insanity.  Merry day after Christmas, my friends.  Take a minute and exhaaaaaaaale.   You made it.  

If You Give a Mom a Cookie Recipe 

If you give a mom a cookie recipe, she'll need to go to her cupboard to gather the ingredients. 

When she opens the cupboard door, she'll see she is completely out of brown sugar. 

She'll have to go to the store and get some.

Pressed for time, she won't have time to do her hair, change out of her yoga pants,  or put on any make up.   

She'll put her (too-short-for-a-hair-clip) hair up in a clip and half of it will hang out of the clip.   

She will drive to the store looking a mess. 

When she gets to the store,  she'll realize she doesn't know where anything is because she seldom shops there. 

She'll wander around looking for the brown sugar for what feels like an eternity. 

While she's wandering around the store, she will inevitably see several people she knows. 
She'll stop to say hello. 

Since she looks like she just rolled out of bed, she'll hurry the conversation in hopes they won't notice her slovenly appearance.  

She'll make her way to the checkout line.  

When she unloads her cart, she'll realize that although she only came for brown sugar, she has picked up over $50.00 worth of stuff she found as she wandered around the unfamiliar store looking for the brown sugar. 

She will leave the store and drive home exasperated and $50.00 poorer.  

When she gets home she'll pick up her cookie recipe and walk over to her groceries.  

And chances are... when she looks through the bags, she'll realize she forgot to buy the brown sugar.  

Thanks for reading.  

Mamas of school age children everywhere, you CAN do this.

For my pals in Ohio (and lots of other parts of the world), I'm a little late to the party.  Here in good ole Michigan, we stretch out summer as long as we can.  But today begins the first day of school (cue sinister-sounding music).   I, along with most other mamas I know, am anticipating a great new school year.  THIS year I will make  a wonderful breakfast every morning, nutritious lunches, and dinners equal to the Brady's.  My children will skip down the stairs each morning ready to begin a new day and eager to learn.  My house will shine and sparkle with cleanliness (due, in part, to these new chore charts I have created), and everyone will be smiling and laughing all day long.  My home shall run like a well oiled machine. Yep.   Grab me a dress, some heels, an apron and call me June Cleaver.   Maybe my other mama friends out there have similar expectations?  Anyone????

In reality, my mama friends, we know that in a week or two our great expectations will more than likely be flushed down the toilet.  You know... that toilet that has NOT been cleaned (in spite of the new chore chart).   So when those days come I say to you this:

For my homeschooling mamas:  You CAN do this.   On those days when you can't explain how to find a common denominator (so you can FINALLY add these two fractions you've been talking about for an hour) one. more. time...take a deep breath in, Mama.  When you look at the clock and realize school took up your whole day; everyone's gonna have to eat Lucky Charms for dinner (hey, they put vitamins and minerals in that stuff.  It's practically a health food), and you feel like you've failed your domestic duties...take a deep breath in, Mama.  For those days when... for the love of ALL THINGS! WHERE is a pencil and WHAT happened to the fifty notebooks I bought two weeks ago?!!... take a deep breath in, Mama.  When you worry that you aren't teaching enough, aren't doing enough, or that YOU are just not enough... take a big, long, deeeeeep breath, Mama.  Breathe deep and remember this is only a season-a quick season.  In the grand scheme of life, we have only a short time to be with these young humans.  Breathe in and remember those days cuddling on the couch with a favorite book together, making a cake volcano, or the first time you realized your child could read-they could REALLY READ-and you were able to be there, teaching them, every step of the way.  Breathe in and embrace the repetition of teaching your child the same concept over and over  until it finally sinks in, and you get the privilege of seeing that light bulb go off and shine brightly.  Breathe out and  remember that you're imperfections,  do not mean you're a bad mama, they just mean you're a human mama.  Give and receive grace.  You CAN do this.  You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.

For my school away from home mamas:  You CAN do this.  On those days when you're sending your children out the door for school with a bag of chips for breakfast, because you just simply ran out of time (HEY, it's hard to make a full course meal before the sun even bothers to wake up)... take a deep breath, Mama.  When you notice your child climbing onto the bus wearing a short sleeved shirt with NO coat in sight, and the high for the day is going to hit a balmy 40 degrees... take a deep breath, Mama.  When you're sitting in that horrible pick-your-kid-up-from-school- line, and you are on the verge of saying EVERY. bad. word. you've ever heard, because really? WHERE did these parents learn how to drive??!!!  take a deep breath, Mama.   When you are scrambling to get that last kid out the door and for the love of ALL THINGS! WHERE are two clean socks that match (although at this point dirty socks will work too)...  take a big, long, deeeeeep breath, Mama.  Breathe deep and remember this is only a season-a quick season.   Breathe in  every Christmas program, every school band concert,  every sport game, every awkward school picture day, and every science fair (YOU did a great job on that science fair board, after all;  be proud!).  Breathe out and remember that you're imperfections become a testimony, to your children, of  God's grace.  You CAN do this.  You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.

For my sending a kid off to college mamas:  You CAN do this.  On those days when you can't stop worrying and wondering if that man-child of yours is actually remembering that dirty socks and underwear are NOT appropriate room decor... take a deep breath, mama.  On those days when you see all those pics of your sweet little girl on Facebook at what looks like a party scene straight out of Animal House, and you wonder if all these tuitions payments you're making are just going toward a very EXPENSIVE party... take a deep breath, Mama.   On those days when after months of missing your sweet angel, she comes home with three garbage bags FULL of laundry, which she totally expect you to do (HOW are there SO many bags of clothes???), because college is hard and she must spend her two weeks home sleeping... take a deep breath, Mama.  On those days when you sit at home in the quiet and miss the chatter and chaos of having those young humans at home with you, and you feel like your heart is going to shatter... take a big, long, deeeeeep breath, Mama.  Breath in and remember this is only a season, and you will adjust.  Breath in every phone call, every new experience they share with you, and even every bag of laundry, because they still come home.  Breath out and remember that you're imperfections do not inhibit their success.   They must find their own way.  Trust God.  He loves them too (even more than you do).   You CAN do this.  You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength.

As a new school year begins, we mamas need to remember that there is grace to cover our mishaps-which WILL happen, grace to cover our frustrations (and out of control yelling)-which also WILL happen.   There is grace to cover our inadequacies, our shortcomings, and our occasional inability to prepare a meal with any nutritional value, find a pencil, or locate a  matching pair of socks.  There is grace to cover us, Mamas.  We need only to humbly approach the throne of grace, and receive the forgiveness, love and grace of the Father who loves us so much.

Let us all extend that same grace to our children, who are all dealing with their own insecurities.  Let us be an example of imperfection covered in grace.  Let us be real.  Let us show love to those young humans on the ugliest of days.  They need grace as they navigate this new year too.   We mamas need to say to them:
 "take a long deeeeeep breath, Child.  You CAN do this.  You can do ALL things through Christ who gives you strength."

SO as we start a new school year, take a long deeeeeep breath, mamas.   Take a long deeeeeep breath children.   We CAN do this.  We can do ALL things through Christ who gives us strength.

Blessings to all for a successful new school year.

Now I Can See

I love stories.   

I especially love stories that touch the heart and soul.  I love the stories about the realities of life-from tragedies to triumphs.  I love stories that end with truth and justice prevailing.   But life's stories don't always have happy endings.   And sometimes, while living out our own stories, we are faced with unhappy endings.   While we search for answers,  sometimes we just come up empty.  

I was thinking about one of my favorite Bible stories.  It's found in John chapter 9.   Here's a recap:

So Jesus is walking along with His disciples and here sits this blind man begging.  The disciples ask Jesus who had sinned the man or his parents.  What had caused him to be born blind.  Jesus says no one sinned, this man is going to be used to display the good works of God.  So Jesus spits on some dirt, rubs it on the man's eyes and sends him to wash it off in the pool of Siloam.  The man washes and goes home seeing.  

So great story, right?  Blind beggar with no hope for any kind of future is given a new lease on life.  Yay, good wins.  

Then come the townspeople, and they start talking...  "Hey is this the same dude who was a blind beggar?"  "Naw bro, that's not him, he just looks like him"  The man says "It's really me.  See this Jesus came and he made some mud with dirt and spit, rubbed the stuff on my eyes, and told me to go wash it off over at Siloam.  So I did that, and now I can see.  Isn't that awesome?"  

The townspeople didn't think it was so awesome.   It WAS the Sabbath day, after all.  They brought the man to the Pharisees who demanded answers.  Who was this Jesus, why was He healing on the Sabbath Day, surely He wasn't from God.  HOW did he do this?  I love the man's response.  He's says  "I don't know.   All I know is that I was blind, and now I can see."    

The man's parents didn't want to stand up to the Pharisees, so they gracefully bowed out of the situation and said, "Ask our son yourselves, he's a grown man." So the Pharisees continued to grill the man, asking him all kinds of questions about Jesus.  The man pointed out that no one else had ever opened the eyes of a blind man, so this Jesus must be from God.  With more and more questions, the man replied in the same way he had all long.  I don't know who He is or where He has gone.    Here's what I know-I was blind and now I can see."  Then the Pharisees, sent him out.  Excommunicated.  Shunned from the community.  

Now I love this next part.  Jesus hears they booted the man out and He goes to him.  

35 Jesus heard that they had thrown him out, and when he found him, he said, “Do you believe in the Son of Man?”36 “Who is he, sir?” the man asked. “Tell me so that I may believe in him.”37 Jesus said, “You have now seen him; in fact, he is the one speaking with you.”38 Then the man said, “Lord, I believe,” and he worshiped him.

The man didn't attempt to understand complicated theology, he just said "Lord, I believe."  He didn't  argue theology with the Pharisees.  He simply said "All I know is that I was blind and now I can see."  Please don't misunderstand,  I'm not saying there's no point to theology.  Biblical knowledge, studying and understanding the scriptures are important.  But sometimes I think we complicate the Gospel.  The Gospel simply says "Come, all you who are weary and heavy and I'll give you rest"  The gospel says "Jesus will take your story, no matter how tragic or worthless it's been and make it into something new."  The gospel may even say "This tragedy is part of your story, but because of that, God is now glorified."  The gospel, the GOOD news, isn't to be re-adjusted so it fits into our religious theology.  At least not the kind gospel that Jesus presented to the blind man.   

With Jesus it really was quite simple.  Here's some dirt, some spit and some water to wash it off.  Jesus used simple methods to do miraculous things.  The man then told his "good news" to others by telling his story of how his whole life was completely changed. "I was blind and now I see." 

How often do we keep parts of our story hidden?   How might our own stories present the gospel, the good news, to others?  How do our triumphs, and yes, even our tragedies point to the beauty of Jesus?  Even in the unhappy endings we face in this life, we have a comforter and a community.  Even when we search for answers and come up empty, we are filled with the Spirit of the living God.   Do we share those things, or do we put on a smile and mask of religious superiority.  Are we real, or do we follow a protocol of religion?     Do we say "God can help YOU, but I'm good."  Do we fail to connect because we don't want to take that risk?  Or do we open ourselves up and say, "ya know what?  I was lost and this is how Jesus came to me.  I was alone and I called out to Jesus and He heard me.  I was a train wreck and Jesus put me back on track.  Sometimes I am a big bottle of crazy sauce with a side of nuts, but this is how Jesus is still transforming my life.  This is my story and it isn't over yet.  Because of grace, I can see the beauty of Christ in the world and in every situation that I face in this life.  I was blind, but now I see."   

 See, we can argue theology, we can make our points and drive them home with a page full of scripture to back us up.   We can engage in those arguments of theology and life's tough questions so long that the good news of the gospel becomes secondary to making our point.    What did Jesus do?  He connected with the man in a simple way.  What then did the man do?  He connected to others with His story.  And even though that particular connection got him shunned,  Jesus went to him.   The good news of gospel may not always be well received, but Jesus will always come to us. And the gospel will always change our lives.    

Maybe we don't have all the theological answers, but one thing we do have is our story.   Our story of how the love of Jesus has changed our lives, comforted us in the darkness of life's hard times, gave us hope in hopeless situations, and how God is STILL continuing to give us grace and mercy when we least deserve it.   Our story can present the gospel in a way that connects us all as people who need Jesus.   Connection that says:

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” -Matthew 11

One thing that no one in the story of this blind man could deny:   The man was born blind, and now he could see.  

The Bible doesn't tell us anymore about the man and what happened for the rest of his life.  I would like to think that when asked about his story, he would continue to answer questions in the same way.  "This Jesus changed my life.  I'm not really sure how or why He did it;  All I know is that I was blind and now I can see."

Share your stories, share yourselves, make connections.  The gospel is all about connection anyway, the connection through the finished work of Jesus back to the heart of the Father.   If we could put away our arguments just for a minute and connect, maybe the Gospel could be heard in it's purest and most simple form. 

 "I was blind, but now I can see"